until the surface {silent sunday}

My daughter grabbed my hand, twirling me into a dance. I hesitated for a second, glancing at the mixing bowl on the counter, the dirty spatula in my hand. But her smile convinced me to drop everything, and we whirled gladly around the kitchen together. I soaked in her giggles, her blond hair lit on fire by the sun, her blue eyes that always seemed so much older than her years. She sang loudly with Blossom Dearie: Do I love you? Oh my, do I. Darling, deed I do, then she burst out suddenly, ‘Oh Mommy, I want us to always stick together!’ I started to nod as she went on, ‘but even when we get apart, we always find each other in the end.’ And in that moment I felt something break; there was water streaming from my eyes, but also pouring over me, somewhere deep within. Her childlike heart spoke so much wisdom, laughing kindly at my fear of death and dying; her words spun around and around me and I knew she was true. We would find each other, around some corner, behind some door, somewhere in the end.
Even if the bite proves fatal, dear
I’ll sing until the gods appear
I won’t know that you are near
Until the surface
If it’s Babylon
I think we’ll still get on
History belongs
To the lions and the swans
Greycoats, The Lions and The Swans
  • Reply
    Monday, December 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    I love you guys.

  • Reply
    Julia Marks
    Monday, December 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    What a beautiful way to wake up. Thank you. My daughter is oh, so much older than yours, and its amazingly wonderful to be reminded of what it was like when we twirled in the kitchen. (Of course, her demand was “pickle” me up when my hands were full of spatulas and flour. Then we would twirl.)

  • Reply
    Monday, December 10, 2012 at 6:18 am

    That’s precious, so precious!

  • Reply
    Monday, December 10, 2012 at 12:46 am

    Brings tears to my eyes to read Sarah! Being a Mom makes you more vulnerable because you have so much more to lose. I know the feeling 🙂

  • Reply
    Cristina Rose
    Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    this is so beautiful, so much.

  • Reply
    Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    how beautiful! Your daughter is truly sweet!

  • Reply
    Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar
    Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    I can only imagine how special having a little one must be – and your stories about her are so precious!

  • Reply
    Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Lovely. So so lovely.

  • Reply
    Melissa // The Fauxmartha
    Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    Chills. What a sweet girl you have. I have a feeling I know who she learned it from.

Leave a Reply